Geek Misc.
Jun 27Holy hell! A lot happened while I was gone.
First of all, Futurama‘s coming back — for realz!
Second, I wasn’t the only one put off by the now-infamous scene in last week’s Rescue Me. Co-creator Peter Tolan actually attempted to respond to the fans, making for some fascinating intar-web intar-action.
And thirdly, my friend Jenelle saw Superman. She pretty much confirmed my worst fears about Kate, but the rest sounds sweet. She also informed me that my love, Kal Penn, has two lines but much screentime.
I’ll be able to see for myself when I go to the movie at 10 p.m. sharp tonight. I haven’t been to a late-night screening in AGES, so this should be interesting. Do I need a beach ball or something?
52 or Shatner: Week 7
Jun 23Only one comment on 52 this week: How fucking hard is it to keep track of whether Ralph Dibny has stubble or a beard? Seriously.
And now, Shatner.
The Send Matt To Shitty Movies Fund: The First Film Is…
Jun 22The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.
It wasn’t even a contest, really. It left Garfield and The Lake House in the dust.
Oh, I may get to Garfield and The Lake House eventually, be certain of that. But my first order of business is to use the hard-earned American dollars donated to me by YOU, the fantastic Alert Nerd readership, to purchase one ticket for Tokyo Drift.
Then I will sit at my computer and savagely tear the film to shreds. Meaning that when the history is written, this summer’s experiment will stand as a revolutionary turning point in the evolution of participatory journalism.
This will all happen sometime next week, I’m guessing. My sister-in-law will be in town to coo over the new baby and help out, meaning I can afford to skip out on my young family for a few hours and watch a shitty movie. Which makes me a GREAT DAD.
I cracked it.
Jun 22So Cate the Wonder Baby is in this lovely pattern of eating, then cooing briefly, then screaming like a banshee (but not like Banshee, which would have already destroyed our home and killed Mommy and Daddy where we stood). Apparently, most babies do this.
WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T SOMEONE TELL ME?!?!?!
Anywho, I sit with her, I watch Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear, she finally quiets down…at 11:52 p.m.
OH. EM. GEE.
TIME IS BROKEN! IT’S ALL HER FAULT! SO DARK THE CON OF MAN!
Fan Friction #1: Sex Trek!
Jun 21“Seven of Nine, I need you in my ready room,” Janeway barked.
She had one of those looks in her eyes, one of those looks Seven of Nine recognized all too well. One of those secret looks the two of them shared. A sultry, forbidden look, tinged with longing and smoke. The look…of love.
Seven of Nine made her way off the bridge of the U.S.S. Voyager and into the nearby ready room. Janeway had already entered and seated herself at her chair. Seven noticed the heaving swell of Janeway’s supple yet aged bosom, already fermenting like a fine wine, perhaps a merlot. She also hoped Janeway was noticing her own supple bosom, hanging from her chest like a pair of ripened apples waiting to be plucked from her sexy tree of sexy apples.
“Seven, I need you to do something…”
“Yes, Captain?” Seven’s lips parted slightly, seductively, with a slight seductive pout.
“We’ve been having some problems in the transporter room…I’ve cleared the staff from the area…I need you to make your way down there and…inspect the problem.”
Seven gasped slightly–she knew exactly what that code phrase, “inspect the problem,” meant. It meant that she was to perform secret nude repairs on the ship while Janeway enjoyed the show from her quarters through a closed-circuit camera.
“I’ll get right on it,” Seven sighed.
“I know that you will,” Janeway replied.
Seven stepped out of the ready room. Seated behind the desk, “Janeway” morphed…into a sinister Suliban.
“I know that you will,” he cackled before vanishing into time itself.
