Grok The Vote
Oct 22It’s October, it’s an election year, and a lot of pundits are wondering, “Where’s the October Surprise?” Where is the game-changing enterprise story or force-fed press release that is going to blow the doors off of one of the two candidates – well, maybe more than two, because I know some people are going to vote for Nader and some people are going to vote for Clinton, and I do see a lot of those Roslin/Airlock tees around lately.
The October Surprise starts right here, next Monday. All week, leading up to what Bill Jemas would likely have called U-DECIDE ’08, the Alert Nerd brain trust is going to be rolling out the nerdiest, geekiest, election coverage you can find in the entire universe. Take that, Colbert! We’re calling it Grok the Vote (after the official Alert Nerd ‘zine for the attractive intelligentsia which I know you’re already an avid fan of, right?)
We’ll probably talk about Star Wars a good bit. And Trek. And Lex Luthor. And maybe Dune. So yeah.
Manhunter? I Hardly Knew Her!
Oct 17The news is going around; DC Comics has re-canceled Manhunter, Marc Andreyko’s recently-resurrected comic about Kate Spencer, attorney, spectacularly bad parent and vigilante federal evidence thief. Okay, maybe the bad parent part is a bit harsh.
Surprisingly, I am not here to urge you to write letters to Bob Wayne or go to your forum of choice and construct a sentence containing the words “Dan DiDio,” “kittens,” and any conjugation of the word “kill.” I know that’s your first urge. Hell, it’s my first urge, too. But this is where that ‘raising the bar’ nonsense that Matt goes on about leads to – not using the anonymity of the Web to vent hyperbolically about a business decision that makes sense. Comics marketing gaffes aside, the book was not selling at the level it needed to be selling, especially with a notable artist like Bendis-collaborator Michael Gaydos on board.
Your anger is not going to change anything. The book had three chances to become commercially successful, and despite being one of the best books coming out of the Distinguished Competition, it never met its goal. And that’s not the fault of Marc Andreyko – Marc’s one of the best of the new crop of writers at the Big Two to break out in the past couple of years – or of the loyal fans of the book.
Kate Spencer as a character will still be around. She will exist without an ongoing to support her and that will suck for her fans, but it’s a bittersweet kind of suck. No, if we’re going to campaign for something as a fandom, let’s not be myopic and ask for the book to continue. Let’s lobby for DC to keep Marc Andreyko around. Because, let’s face it, he’s one of the better writers they have, and Grant Morrison, Geoff Johns and Gail Simone can only do so much between the three of them.
I’d love to see Andreyko take over Birds of Prey. Or Nightwing – he did write that pretty high-quality Nightwing Annual about Dick and Babs (and Khory). Or Batman and the Outsiders. Thinking outside the box, I’d like to see him try his hand at Green Lantern. Put him somewhere more visible, somewhere established, and let him find a writer-loyal following beyond the Manhunter die-hards. Encourage the success of art through the promotion of the artist.
So if you want to write a letter – and nerds love writing letters, so we encourage you to – ask DC to keep one of your favorite creators around. Tell them what Marc’s writing says that speaks to you – his rounded, intelligent female characters, his witty dialogue, or his faithful portrayal of real families are a few standouts for me – and that you hope they use his talents in their future published work.
DC Comics
1700 Broadway, 7th Fl.
New York, NY 10019-5905
Losing Faith In Medical Science
Sep 26So, Grey’s Anatomy had its fifth season premiere last night, and it further confirmed my desire to never be hospitalized for any reason.
Now, don’t get me wrong – I love every poorly-lit juke and jink in Meredith Grey’s tortured, self-obsessed psyche, and the sassy TV banter that’s the closest I can come to wit on basic cable now that Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars have had their genius transmuted into ephemera.
What struck me during this two hour festival of emotional tragedy in which affairs are revealed, people are impaled with icicles and the phrase “You’re my person” or some variation of it is uttered something like 80 times, is mostly the sheer idiocy of every single one of the characters. Except for Dr. Journeyman, who is apparently only around for this episode, if IMDB is to be believed.
GA used to have a cast of relatively normal people that provided a stark contrast to Meredith Grey’s angry, frustrated megalomaniac depression. Over time, though, every character on the show has become so tainted by her contagious insanity that none of them are capable of behaving like adults any longer. The Chief, the brilliant surgeons, the nursing staff, the interns, the residents – all of them are idiots. Of course Seattle Grace isn’t a top-tier hospital any longer – the best heart surgeon in the country quit because of a bad break-up, one of their interns murdered a patient, and the nurses are too busy having sex to remember to pass meds on a good day. And the Chief is right, it’s all Meredith’s fault.
God, do I love this show.
The Most Important Post You'll Read All Year: New Nerd Jeff Tackles YOUR Tough Questions
Sep 19Hey, look at all those questions! Except for the creepy “What’s your address/what side of the bed do you prefer?” comments that I deleted. You know who you are.
First, one from Charley: Wow, you’re 6′5″? Question: Do you hit your head a lot?
Yes, I am 6’5″. Yes, I hit my head a lot. The stairwell that leads down into my basement has a low ceiling, and I hit my head there all the time.
Sarah wants to know Hey, what happened to Dazzler Fan Blog?
Nothing gold can stay, Pony Boy. Dazzler Fan was just too beautiful to thrive in this harsh world.
Marjie asks a literal ton of questions. Maybe she has a crush on me. I get that a lot.
1. What is the most mortifying nickname you’ve ever been given? Nicknames given by yourself don’t count.
As a fat kid growing up, I got called ‘Stolardass’ – a play on my last name – and that was not cool at all. More recent nicknames that irritate me are ‘Stoli’ and ‘Stick’.
2. Cake or pie?
Why can’t I have both? If I have to pick one, I’m gonna go with cake.
3. How do you feel about symmetry?
I believe in it. And find it fearful.
4. If you had to have sex with a director, who would it be? Please specify pre- or post-death if they have passed on
After standing in front of a mirror psyching myself up to not say Spielberg or Nolan, I’m gonna pick Diane English. It’s a strict PF based on the critical reception of The Women, though.
5. Can you navigate your home in the dark? Does it make you nervous when people ask that?
Yes. Yes.
6. Favorite exclamation (e.g. “egads!†“holy jesus fuck truck!†“great googly mooglyâ€)?
Giant Dancing Christ!
7. How do you feel about the majestic turkey vulture?
Jesus would totally have adopted one.
And Matt asks, What makes you cry?
James Lipton. Sunrises. “Brandy” by Looking Glass. The end of The Lost Boys.
This Is How You Know We've Jumped The Shark
Sep 18
Hiya.
My name is Jeff, but I’m basically Cousin Oliver. Or Ben-Gali. Matt, Sarah and Chris decided to bring me in to ‘sex up’ this blog for younger readers, what with me being ‘only 30’ (as Matt puts it).
You may already know me from my own blog or my contributions to the Elvis Costello blog I co-write with Matt and the world-famous Dazzler Fan Blog. If you’re a discerning reader (and between you and I, I think you’re pretty discerning), you might have seen my name in the pages of Grok, our humble amazing ‘zine.
For those of you who don’t know me already, here’s the text of my handbook entry:
Name: Jeff
Occupation: Marketer, Occasional Writer, Sometimes Teacher
Legal Status: Resident of Pennsylvania
Identity: Publicly known
Known Aliases: None
Marital Status: Married
Group Affiliation: Alert Nerds, Dazzler Fan Bloggers
Height: 6’5″
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Prematurely Grayish
Beard Status: Yes
Rock Band Band Names: Manic Chalice, Jefferson Stolarship
Geekiest Thing You Own: An original Scott Pilgrim page
If you have any other questions, especially ones that are embarrassingly personal, ask in the comments. I’ll answer them all in a follow-up “New Guy Q+A” post.
Now, I’m going to back out of here quietly. I still feel like I’ve broken into someone’s house or hacked Sarah Palin’s email.
