UPDATE: Our Utter Wrongness (DiDio Stays)

UPDATE: Our Utter Wrongness (DiDio Stays)

Jun 23

So I guess in the heady morningtime of last Friday, when e-mails about earth-shattering news flew across yon interwebs like bluejays across a field of Kentucky bluegrass, it sure seemed possible that beleaguered DC executive editor Dan DiDio would be packing his office and sharing his personal e-mail with all his former work buddies.

This did not happen. In fact, the opposite has already happened. Dapper Dan will be with us a while.

First off, yeah–sorry for the rumor-mongering! Or speculation, rather. That’s what it was. I’m not a journalist blogger; I’m a pontificating hack who likes to shoot his mouth off. God bless America.

However, the story doesn’t end there–like the adventures of the very heroes they shepherd to the stands each week, the tale of DC Comics never ends. It can’t end. There’s always another book to put out, always another crossover to plan, always another list of characters due for dismemberment.

What next? I’m not an editor in chief, or a publisher, but if I did happen to be DC Publisher and Boy Wonder Paul Levitz, I’d sit DiDio down this afternoon for a Come to Krona meeting, and here’s what I’d say.

1) Make good with the fanboys. DiDio’s always had a fair amount of candor in interviews; he’s admitted mistakes often, even when his admissions haven’t been blood-letting mea culpas. At least it’s something. He needs a good solid “state of the DCU” interview right about now with a relatively friendly face, someone like Matt Brady or Vaneta Rogers.

2) Be honest, and admit to being wrong. He’s already sorta done this here and there in interviews; now he needs to just lay it out naked for the fanbase–Countdown didn’t work out, we probably should have honored Grant Morrison’s requests more faithfully to set up his story, and we’re all MOVING ON.

It’s clear to me at least that whatever errors continue to nip at the heels of DC, and whatever sales turbulence they’re undergoing at the moment, they have put some thought and care into the Final Crisis machine–these are high-profile titles with top-flight creative talent, with (so far) nary a half-assed crossover clunker one-shot in sight. Don’t flinch about the recent past, but also don’t apologize for the future. There’s good stuff coming; Morrison’s a brilliant guy who is a fan favorite, and Johns has some awesome things cooking, especially in the Superman books, and remember that Robinson guy who wrote that amazing Starman title that just came out in a really nice hardcover? Well, he’s back.

3) Figure out this continuity shit. I mean, really–Jeff and I were Twittering about this the other day–isn’t this Ian Sattler guy supposed to be a DCU “continuity cop”? Isn’t he a “senior story editor”? Is there not one relatively well-liked, relatively organized dude or dudette in the DC offices who could keep an Excel spreadsheet or something? Someone needs to mind this store. I know, I know–nerds complain about this shit too much, we all need to get over it and get girlfriends, etc etc etc–that all may be true.

4) Steal someone from Marvel. Now. Before San Diego. I don’t know who’s even available, and I sure don’t know what it would take to get them, but a high-profile talent defection to the Distinguished Competition would steal a good deal of thunder from Marvel’s summer of gloating over Secret Invasion’s sales numbers. It might also help stir up the creative pot a little bit coming out of Final Crisis and into the future of the DC line.

6) Cancel some books. DC’s midlist and bottom-list is kinda crowded and directionless. Compare this to Marvel, who have some kind of direction and focus and purpose to even their lower-selling books, something that goes beyond “Well, there was this crossover, so we launched this title, because there was this crossover.” Just viciously kill a bunch of these, especially those with no strong buzz going. I’ll make this easy; here’s a handy “kill list” you can clip out and stick in your wallet.

Supergirl
Batman Confidential
Simon Dark
Titans
Green Arrow/Black Canary
Manhunter
Booster Gold
Batman and the Outsiders
Birds of Prey
Brave and the Bold (relaunch with a #1 with JMS)
The Flash
Checkmate
Teen Titans

Yeah, a few of these are mild fan favorites, but the only low-selling book right now that seems to deserve a shot is Blue Beetle. The rest of this shit? KILL IT.

5) Stabilize creative teams. So you’ve got a shorter list of books on your docket; that’s good. Still, all these mid-list DC titles have been plagued by strange and unexpected rotating creator doors; a team will settle into a book, only to be upended after their first arc. Or random fill-in issues will appear after solicitations with nary a warning to the fans. There’s just no clear reason for any of this–if Kelley Puckett is writing a good Supergirl, keep him on Supergirl. If Sean McKeever is a good fit for Birds of Prey, and he’s not in a groove yet, LET THE MAN GET INTO A GROOVE. Just…let things fucking SETTLE for a change. There’s nothing more disheartening than getting into a team’s run only to find out that–surprise!–they’re gone.

So take these exclusive talents floating around after you’ve canceled all their books and make sure they’re entrenched in at least one monthly title. That’s something Marvel does very well; there aren’t many hired guns working on Marvel’s top books, and yet it sure seems like some of DC’s big titles are just being written and drawn by very talented dudes off the street, instead of the exclusive folks they have to pay anyway.

This would be a good way to tighten up the Bat-books a bit; it would help if you decide to expand the Superman line after Johns & Robinson get done making it cool again; when you selectively relaunch some of the above dead properties at careful moments coming in the future, you’ll have creative teams warmed up and ready to go.

If you don’t have enough monthly books to use all your exclusive creators, carefully plan and launch some miniseries involving a few of the aforementioned dead and/or dying properties above. Nothing huge, nothing too high-profile. Focus on easy, fun, and handily collected into a trade or a digest-size volume that will maybe sell one or two copies at Borders.

6) Quit. If all else fails, there’s always the door.