Super Titties

Super Titties

Oct 06

Y’know, I noticed the honking huge naked hooters in a random piece of Carlos Pacheo Superman art accompanying a Kurt Busiek interview on Newsarama. But I thought for sure it was just the wrong image, or a mistyped link. Near-Mint Heroes confirms that it wasn’t a mistake at all–that this was an actual piece of Superman comic book art drawn at least initially with big naked funbags.

Answer me this: How is a mainstream superhero book like Superman served by naked tits? Or even by the scantily-clad women that Pacheo sneaks into just about every issue?

I like his stuff a lot. But it’s jarring and disappointing that this very good comic being crafted in a smart, traditional way just HAS to have Lois strutting around in her panties and a tight T-shirt. Or two random love slaves for Arion, Lord of Atlantis writhing on a bed with strategically placed sheets.

There’s an answer to the question I already asked–mainstream superhero comics are served by T&A because they are now a child’s medium offering adolescent adventures to grown men. In other words, a recipie for confusion.

But why Superman? Why DOES a Superman comic book need T&A? Why can’t it be a good, smart comic book that may actually act as a GATEWAY for young people and old people alike to enter into comics? Why can’t it be something a dad and his son could sit down and read together?

There is no artistic or story purpose served by a half-naked Lois Lane, objectified for no reason by skimpy clothes, cheapened into a random slut visually even when the dialogue and plot support her as a strong, intelligent female character. And there is even less purpose served by barely-covered skanks slinking around in Arion’s lair. Does Arion really need to be viewed by the reader as a guy who can bag two chicks? Does that have ANYTHING to do with the tale being told?

And there is certainly no need for Superman to occupy a space as some kind of “edgy,” anything-goes comic. There are plenty of titles on the stands that use superheroes to tell adult stories, some better than others. That’s fine. That’s not Superman, or rather, that’s definitely not Busiek’s Superman–it’s not written down to children, by any means, but it certainly is the kind of ideal mix of bash-bang superheroics and clever characterizations and plotting that could hook a kid and then encourage him or her to actually WANT to read, and read beyond their level. It could make them EXCITED to learn, in a sense.

The modern mainstream comic book is a minefield of chauvinism and cheesecake. That’s a big fat fucking problem. It is not going away soon.

But can we maybe just carve out one tiny space here where an eight-year-old boy could buy fucking SUPERMAN and not have a pair of tits shoved in his face? Is there ANYTHING wrong with that? Can we get over our knee-jerk reactions of “censorship” and “First Amendment” and “I’m forty and I like Superman and I like boobies” and have a well-made superhero COMIC BOOK for adults AND children?

I mean, Jesus H. Christ.