Clone Wars Shocker: It's Not That Shitty

Clone Wars Shocker: It's Not That Shitty

Oct 20

So I watched a few episodes of Clone Wars this weekend. That’s the half-hour cartoon show spun off the least-successful film in Star Wars history.

It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It’s nowhere near great, but it’s fun and harmless. In fact…I kinda liked it.

It may just be that I happened to pick a particularly good week to start watching; over at io9, Graeme McMillan gave pretty high marks to this past Friday’s episode, “Destroy Malevolence.” That was the second episode I watched; I also checked out the preceding episode, “Shadow of Malevolence.”

Graeme sorta nails the upside to Clone Wars in his review; in its best moments, it’s a sort of “greatest hits” compilation of the more swashbuckle bits from the Star Wars films. “Destroy Malevolence” featured a rescue of Padme on board General Grievous’ flagship; in pacing and tone, it reminded me of the last bit of Star Wars I legitimately thought felt like true Star Wars, the rescue of Palpatine from Grievous’ flagship in Revenge of the Sith.

Similarly, “Shadow of Malevolence” aped the classic “blow up the big bad ships” sequences from A New Hope and Return of the Jedi, complete with holographic diagrams, anxious innocents biting their nails while they watch the action from afar, and one of those fucking AWESOME “fly every damn thing at the camera” shots, which I will admit brought a bit of a tingle.

And I know they’re just pandering, but I’m old and sad and so pandering works on me: Every other scene seemed to bring some bit of dialogue, action, or camera shot that was an “homage” to the films. From the now-typical “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” to a climactic hero shot of all the main characters to close out an episode, it’s full of little tricks designed to make you think you’re watching great Star Wars. You’re not, but again: Old, sad, easily pandered to. At this point, nostalgia is a primary motivator for much of the entertainment I consume.

I’ve seen lots of complaining about the lame jokes and the annoying young padawan Ahsoka, but they didn’t bother me much; it’s really no worse than the gags featured on any other adventure cartoon, including such sacred cows as Batman: The Animated Series and Justice League. It’s not like every other cartoon aimed at ten-year-old boys rivals the Algonquin round table.

The worst you can say about Clone Wars is that it often feels flat, and I’m not speaking of the quality of the animation, which excels at space battles but still fails miserably at depicting expressive, attractive animated characters. There’s frequently a generic sameness to the dialogue, plotting, and characterizations, which was more noticeable in “Shadow of Malevolence.” It felt exactly like what it is–a 22-minute commercial for toys.

Let’s be clear: Clone Wars will add nothing of value, substance, or meaning to your life, even if you are a Star Wars fan. In many ways, this show (like most of the prequels) bears no resemblance to the incandescence of the original trilogy. Those are great movies; everything since has been merchandising and tech demo reels masquerading as “entertainment.”

And yet, Clone Wars entertained me. Since I know I can’t ask for much more from George Lucas anymore, I’ll take what I can get.