Cyclops: Follicularly Blessed, So Why Hide It?
Cyclops: Follicularly Blessed, So Why Hide It?
Jul 31Today, I finally had a very important nerd breakthrough. I figured out exactly why the versions of Cyclops’ costume wherein his head is completely covered bother me so much.
I know this is sort of a Classic Cyke look, but it’s always rubbed me the wrong way. At first, I thought it was because such costumes make him look like he’s wearing a giant condom. That encompasses his entire body. I mean…
But after a lot of deep, ponderous thought, I think it’s actually because this type of supersuit hides his glorious hair. Cyclops has amazing hair. Snicker all you want. It’s true.
You know he spends a lot of time on it — way more than Jean or Emma — but how can he not when the final effect is so voluminous-yet-sculpted? In the mirror every morning, he probably imagines how it will look blowing in the breeze as he gracefully fights off a mass of Sentinels.
On the most important day of his life, his wedding, he knew that The Hair must be allowed to fly free.
JamesMarsdenCyclops also knows what’s up.
Even if my long-lost ladylove kills me today, he is thinking, at least my forelock will be dramatically emphasized.
So please, X-Costume Designers, hear my plea: stop trying to rein in the magic. Allow Cyclops’ hair to wave gloriously in the wind — uncovered and unhindered — as comic fans the world over gasp and gape in awe.
Best post ever.
So true.
Can we have a DC crossover where Cyke and Hal Jordan have a hair-off?
Ahahaha, excellent. You’re absolutely right–The Hair must be free.
Maybe he’s trying to entice Beast with the Condom Outfit.
Hair-off! Hair-off!
Skull cap or no skull cap, either is fine by me. I just could never understand what the point of the yellow strap across the chest of his 90’s costume was.
You must LOooooOOOooove the “Age of Apocalypse” version of Cyclops then Matt.
In this X-treme 90’s future imperfect, Cyke’s flowing brunette locks are like a shining beacon of justice, volume, aqua net and manly.
I’m actually the one behind this post — Matt’s opinions on Cyclops’ hair are still unknown (sadly!).
I would argue that Age of Apocalypse Cyclops’ hair is almost TOO MUCH of a good thing. It’s heading into untamed mullet territory. Flowing-yet-groomed is the way to go.
Yes, this is not by me. You will know me by my hatred of hair, including my own. ESPECIALLY my own.
The strap was to hold his pouches, of course!
You couldn’t be an X-man in the ’90s without pouches, now, could you?
Exactly – where else are you going to put the keys to the x-jet?
Mind you…
“Bwah-ah-ah! Take THIS, Cyclops!”
“OW! I fell on my keys! Curse you, Magneto!”
Or where is Deadpool going to keep his spare pancreas???
Okay, that’s probably not the best example.
Here’s the thing about the pouches. Everybody mocks the pouches. But . . .there’s an issue of Amazing Spider-Man where Petey is webslinging his way home, and he has to carry some stuff with him and he has to make a bag out of webbing, and he’s whining about it (shocker!), and I’m just going, “Bitch, if you only had POUCHES. . .”
Instead of pouches, superheroes should just carry around Japanese silk scarves, and practice a little Furoshiki:
http://www.furoshiki.com/home.php
…what, you don’t think that’s as badass as pouches?
Ah excuse the mix up Sarah – My own feathered bangs got in the way while I was posting and I didn’t see the author tag. (hair flip)
So I’m no lady, but maybe we can come to some consensus here: Is Cyclops’ awesome hair maybe the only way in which he’s more sexually appealing than Wolverine?
Cause that guy’s a hair disaster. Am I right?
Cyclops is hotter than Wolverine, Matt.
I mean, I’m a Wolverine fan, but he’s a midget-sized hair disaster with cigar breath.
I’m with MMM on this one. The only version of Wolverine I’ve ever found sexy is Hugh Jackman.