Giving Thanks

Giving Thanks

Nov 27

Happy thanksgiving, all you nerds and nerdettes.

I am thankful for my wonderful family and friends, for my fellow Alert Nerd bloggers (also great friends), for this lil’ nerdy community I’m fortunate to share in virtually via Twitter and comments and e-mails, for a decent job, for occasional freelance, for plentiful comic books, for NIMOY, and for Giada De Laurentiis, who better not be leading me foul with her Herbes de Provence and Citrus turkey recipe, or I will lose my shit.

"Live long…and prosper."

"Live long…and prosper."

Nov 26

So remember that one time, that one time before, when they did that trailer for that one movie, that Star Trek movie, that new one with all the hip kids in it like Abercombie opened an outlet store on Seti Alpha VI?

Well, it’s back. And this time, it’s got the one thing I needed to make it perfect…Nimoy.

Hearting the Twilight Fang-Girls

Hearting the Twilight Fang-Girls

Nov 24

“OK,” wheezed the beleaguered usher. “Once the movie starts…no more yelling!!!”

Naturally, they didn’t listen.

They screamed when the lights went down. They screamed when the credits floated onscreen, curlicue-laden, gothy font and all. They screamed for Jacob, flowing-tressed heartthrob in the making.

“Oh, shit,” I whispered to Kelly. “I’m scared of what’s gonna happen when Edward shows up.”

Well, duh. Banshee wails, awesome in their pure, gut-wrenching hysteria.

Jeff Bridges's Iron Man photos

Jeff Bridges's Iron Man photos

Nov 24

Apparently Jeff Bridges is a shutterbug – a good one too, judging from this collection of photos he took on and off the set of Iron Man. I’ve heard acting is a lot of sitting around and waiting, so actors come up with ways to kill time. Video games, knitting… The Duderino takes photos.

Personally, I’ve given a lot of respect to Jon Favreau for knowing the material. I’ve even given Downey Jr. props for his refreshing attitude towards “comic book material.” What I didn’t know what that Jeff Bridges deserves a little as well, given this quote from the collection;

Another reason I wanted to do this movie was I’d get to shave my head. I always wanted to do that. Jon said I didn’t have to, but then Obadiah Stane, in the comic book, was bald, so…

The Dude abides, honestly.

"George Lucas ruined my life."

"George Lucas ruined my life."

Nov 24

The Mail is running excerpts of Carrie Fisher’s new autobiography, which is sharp. Raaaaazor sharp. And like every good nerd, I’m skipping to the bits about Star Wars. I was rather hoping she really meant that George Lucas ruined her life and was mad about it, but it’s mostly a haw-haw, teasing proclamation. Too bad.

I’m adding bold to my favorites;

George Lucas ruined my life. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Even now, many years later, people are still asking me if I knew Star Wars was going to be that big a hit. Yes, of course I knew. We all knew.

The only one who didn’t was the director, George Lucas. We kept it from him because we wanted to see what his face looked like when it changed expression.

Not only was he virtually expressionless in those days, but he also hardly talked at all. His only two directions in the first film were ‘faster’ and ‘more intense’.

Shortly after I arrived, he gave me this unbelievably idiotic hairstyle. He said in his little voice: ‘Well, what do you think of it?’

I was terrified I was going to be fired for being too fat, so I said: ‘I love it.’ Yeah, right.

When I got this great job to end all jobs, which truly I never thought I would get because there were all these other beautiful girls who were up for the part – Amy Irving, Jodie Foster, Teri Nunn – they told me I had to lose 10lb.

I weighed about 105lb at the time but carried about 50 of those in my face.

So you know what a good idea would be? Give me a hairstyle that further widens my already wide face.

Remember the white dress I wore all through that film? George came up to me the first day of filming, took one look at the dress and said: ‘You can’t wear a bra under that dress.’

‘OK, I’ll bite,’ I said. ‘Why?’ And he said: ‘Because … there’s no underwear in space.’

He said it with such conviction. Like he had been to space and looked around and he didn’t see any bras or panties anywhere.

He explained. ‘You go into space and you become weightless. Then your body expands but your bra doesn’t, so you get strangled by your own underwear.’

I think that this would make for a fantastic obituary. I tell my younger friends that no matter how I go, I want it reported that I drowned in moonlight, strangled by my own bra.

Instead of a bra, what do you think I wore for support, intergalactically? Gaffer tape.

I used to think there should have been a contest at the end of the day for who in the crew would get to help remove the tape.

George is a sadist. But despite having to wear a metal bikini, being chained to a giant slug (Jabba the Hutt) and often being about to die, I kept coming back for more.

Why, you might ask. Well, George is a visionary, right? The man has transported audiences the world over and has provided Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford and myself with enough fan mail – and even a small, merry band of stalkers – to keep us entertained for the rest of our lives.

And don’t forget, George was the man who made me into a little doll. A doll that one of my exes could stick pins into whenever he was annoyed with me (I found it in a drawer).

He also made me into a shampoo bottle where people could twist off my head and pour liquid out of my neck. Paging Dr Freud!

And then there was a soap with the slogan: ‘Lather up with Leia and you’ll feel like a Princess yourself.’

The nice people at Burger King made me into a watch. And I’m a little stumpy Lego thing. And now there’s even a stamp, which is totally cool.

Among George’s many possessions, he owns my likeness, so that every time I look in the mirror I have to send him a couple of bucks. That’s partly why he’s so rich.