ALERT NERD EXCLUSIVE: ULTIMATES 3 #1 GETS SHITTY XEROX VARIANT
Feb 06Press Release
It’s the ultimate comic book event of the year and now Ultimates 3 is back like you’ve never seen it before! In Ultimates 3 #1 Shitty Xerox Variant, the sold-out smash hit from Eisner award-winning scribe Jeph Loeb and superstar artist Joe Madureira returns as a poorly-copied version of the original! Generated on a twenty-year-old copier from the local public library that leaks toner, this special variant edition also features the same dialogue and jaw-dropping plot that forever changed the Ultimate Universe! This issue also features Madureira’s now classic wraparound covers replaced by xeroxes of my ass, depicting the Ultimate Universe heroes heading towards a climactic battle with their enemies, the Brotherhood!
“What a wonderful gift for the fans of the book,” says Loeb. “Joe’s artwork looks great in color, but to see a poorly copied naked ass wrapped around a shitty xerox copy of this already piss-poor comic is a mindblowing!
“No, that’s not a typo,” continues Loeb. “A mindblowing is when your mind gets some choice blowjobbery, preferably from a spicy prostitute picked up just over the Mexican border. I have a few phone numbers if you’re interested.”
As the March On Ultimatum continues, don’t miss your chance to experience one of the year’s most controversial comics of the year!
That’s not a typo either! This comic is one of the year’s most controversial comics of the year, this year, not next year, and in 2008 as well!
Just why has one of the Ultimates’ most powerful members been targeted for death? And who—or what—is the object of Venom’s quest? AND WHO GIVES A SHIT???
It all begins in Ultimates 3 #1…and you’ve never seen it brought to life like this before!
ULTIMATES 3 #1 (of 5) SHITTY XEROX VARIANT GATEFOLD PHOTOCOPIED ASS COVERS (DEC078168)
Written by JEPH LOEB
Pencils by JOE MADUREIRA
Gatefold Ass would make a great band name
Parental Advisory …$2.99
FOC—2/21/08, On-Sale—3/12/08
Related: ULTIMATES 3 #1 GETS BLACK AND WHITE VARIANT – NEWSARAMA
SMILE
Feb 04I think George Khoury gushes a wee bit too effusively over The Killing Joke, but there’s some interesting quotes and insights from Alan Moore, Brian Bolland, and Denny O’Neill in his latest column for Comic Book Resources.
Lost 4.1, "The Beginning of the End"
Feb 01ABC has spent the better part of this week gluing me to my couch in a vegetative state, thanks to the absolute lack of any decent programming on any other network, and their heavy dose of self-congratulatory Lost pablum.
On Wednesday night, they replayed the Season 3 finale, with little captions that had trivia and details, and we watched that. THEN we sat through most of the recap episode they played before the premiere, which was billed as a “two-hour event,” and made me think we were getting two hours of NEW Lost. Not so much.
All told, my wife and I had like three hours of refresher course, all of it making you believe the show is GOING PLACES. Lines were drawn, dots were connected, inconsistencies and annoying storytelling time-marking were ignored. It really made you feel hyped for the season four premiere, because it allowed you to forget that much of the time, Lost is a show about going NOWHERE.
Then, of course, “The Beginning of the End” did in fact go nowhere.
Mercury Poisoning
Feb 01I won’t even pretend to be close to impartial or objective anymore–I’m a sad fat male prostitute for the work of Mr. Warren Ellis.
Here’s a short interview on his latest project for Avatar, the NewPulp sci-fi miniseries Anna Mercury.
