Dec 22

You have probably heard this already from people way more high profile than me (like, say, Stephen King), but on December 29, please drop whatever it is you are doing (unless you happen to be, say, cradling a sweet baby or a cute doggie or your freshly-Netflixed copy of Stick It) and run — run! — to your local whateverplex and purchase one over-priced ticket to see Pan’s Labyrinth. This is an amazing, beautiful movie, you guys. Easily my favorite of the year.

I should also mention, however, that they are not fucking around with that “R” rating. You might see a preview or a poster and think to yourself, “This looks like a cuddly fantasy and I am sure there’s not a scene where a guy gets his cheek cut open and then proceeds to STITCH IT BACK TOGETHER HIMSELF using a wee needle and thread.”

You would be so, so wrong. As Guillermo del Toro said at a recent screening, if you’re expecting Harry Potter, you just might have an aneurysm. (This of course led to speculation amongst my viewing companions that Guillermo might in fact be a great choice to direct one of the later, scarier Potter flicks.)

Pan, by the way, is a wondrous, kind of creepy faun character played by Doug Jones, who Guillermo previously used as Abe Sapien in Hellboy. And he’s also the Silver Surfer! He is thoroughly amazing here as both Pan and the uber-creepy Pale Man — he does all these movement-y things that make you forget there’s an actual human actor under all of the puppetry and prosthetics.

Anyway, I’m not sure if I can fully convey how awesome this movie is, but it really grabbed at my heart and guts and tear ducts in a way that no other movie has in…maybe years. Yes, I would say years!

Also, a few phrases that are sure to be used by like 99 percent of critics describing this flick:

“A fairy-tale for grownups”
“A beautiful re-imagining of Alice in Wonderland”
“Magical realism” (or, alternately, “real magic”)

That’s actually why I made up such a cheesy header. Pantastic, people!

(Addendum: I forgot to mention that Doug Jones previously freaked your shit out as one of the Gentlemen in Buffy‘s “Hush.” Eeeeeeeh!)

Slab THIS, Asshole

Slab THIS, Asshole

Dec 21

One brave, intrepid fan shows us exactly what to do with a CGC graded book.

MM + EJO = Magic

MM + EJO = Magic

Dec 20

Here’s an article I just did for Back Stage featuring the conversational stylings of Admiral Adama and President Roslin. It was featured in the paper’s gigantic year-end awards season issue because I would really love it if JUST ONCE awards voters wouldn’t totally ignore genre. Come on! Show them some love, mysterious Academy/other voting bodies! We’re talkin’ about a frakkin’ Admiral and a President, goddammit.

When Nerds Die

When Nerds Die

Dec 19

I am as big a Star Wars nerd as you will ever find.

However, I implore my fellow Alert Nerds: When I pass from this mortal coil, please do NOT post an entry that suggests I am now “one with the force.”

I’ll just be DEAD, okay?

Galactica on the Big Screen

Galactica on the Big Screen

Dec 18

I was terribly excited to be able to partake of this last week. Really, every episode of Galactica should be viewed with a crowd of fellow fans. Everything from the giggles at Starbuck high horsedly referring to her marriage a “sacrament” to the screams of anguish at that especially cliffhangy cliffhanger was awesome.

I got there about an hour and a half before start time and the line already stretched around the Westside Pavilion’s bountiful food court. The line itself was quite the par-tay. I made friends with the guy standing next to me (very important when you need to leave said line for food or bathroom breaks) and totally ran into my old pal Paul and his pal Adam. Husband Jeff arrived eventually, so we had quite the contingent once the thing was set to start. At some point, a bunch of the BSG writers greeted us line-dwellers and thanked us so much for coming! Really! They were not expecting this kind of turn-out! In fact, the turn-out was so great that TV Guide bought up a second showing. Our little gang was amongst the last let into the theater for showing #1, so we got the special, up-close, neck-spraining seats. But we didn’t care because how can one complain when a gigantic Lucy Lawless is tossing her beautifully-feathered hair in your direction?

After the eppy, we got a little Q&A with the writers. Folks onhand included Michael Taylor (who wrote some really fantastic eps of DS9, like this one and this one) and Jane Espenson (Buffy!!) and Mark Verheiden (who penned the actual BSG episode we watched). Everyone treated them like rock stars, which was awesome. A few nuggets: they said the ratings are “tanking,” so everyone needs to watch when BSG returns on Sunday nights (new timeslot) next month. They also said that if you’re mad after watching this mid-season finale, just wait ’til the actual season finale, boy howdy! And when someone asked if we’ll be seeing any of the final five Cylon models, they actually got into a huddle, broke, and said…yes.

Here’s my review of the episode, by the way.

Also, random sidenote: after the screening, I asked Husband Jeff who he would deem as the “hottest” person on the show. I had already prepared my answer (Lucy Lawless!) and was quite excited when he concurred. Xenalon all the way!