Petty Bitchery: Trek Trailer Blues
Nov 17OK. So when it comes to Nerdiquette…y’all know that I generally try to be part of the solution, rather than the problem. I want to be a geek who does not conform to the Mundanes’ general perception of stereotypical geek behavior. I try to use “actually” sparingly. I try not to force people to read/watch/consume shit they won’t really like, even if I think it is TEH AWESOME, WOOT! And I really try not to whine incessantly about stuff I think I am somehow entitled to just because I’m a fan.
Right now, however, I’m about to go all nerd stereotype BITCH ATTACK on your virtual ass…because I still haven’t seen the Star Trek trailer. And do you know why? Because I went to Quantum of Solace on Saturday fully prepared for said trailer — I refused to watch the bootleg Matt posted below, because I wanted to see it on the big screen — and then THEY DIDN’T SHOW IT.
DOUBLE-U TEE EFF AMC!
They showed that fucking Will Smith trailer twice. I don’t care what the pseudo-mysterious “seven pounds” refers to! I don’t care if this is Oscar bait or just one of those “gritty” thrillers where no one wears make-up! I want Spock! Pointy ears on the big fucking screen!
The excitement evaporated from my entire form after that. I slumped over in my seat and kept dozing off…and I liked the movie! It was good! There was a lot of awesome in there! But I was so, so deflated. It’s like I just gave up.
So now the official trailer is out online, but I don’t want to watch that, either. Because I am owed. I am owed a Star Trek trailer on the big screen and I refuse to watch it on the little bitty one until I get it! Rargh, smash, angry sounds!!!
I already hate myself for writing this. It stoops to a level of petty bitchery that I thought I had banished from my geekly soul (well, maybe not when it comes Phoenix/Cyclops stuff. But I’m allowed That One Thing, remember). In the end, I am no better than the constant complainers in our fandom, the “actually”-bots, the self-entitled Comic Book Guys (and Girls). A disturbing revelation, but one that I probably just need to accept. (Angry, time-wasting letter to you, AMC!)
Ida Says HEY
Nov 11You all know how I feel about The Middleman. Many of you also know how I feel about approaching nerdlebrities in the wild. Could it be that these two topics are about to meet in the most satisfying of ways? Read on!
A couple weeks ago, I spotted Mary Pat Gleason at a screening. Definitely, definitely her. If you haven’t seen The Middleman, she plays the delightfully cranky android Ida — a formidable foil for Wendy Watson.
She asked me if that was my coat on that seat over there, was I saving it for someone? Oh, um…what? No! All yours, Mary Pat Gleason! At the time, I was Twittering away on my phone, refreshing relentlessly and following a scintillating debate between Kim and Caroline about the merits of Jean Grey. I giddily posted an updated about “the HEYDAR” being in the same room as me…should I go talk to her? Kim helpfully reminded me that Ida is not actually the HEYDAR, but operates the HEYDAR, and I should absolutely go talk to her!
I don’t think I would have done it, were it not for this bit of Twit-encouragement.
Anyway, after the movie, I was standing out in the lobby and saw her exiting the bathroom. I darted after her, tapped her on the shoulder and said something like, “Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that I love you on The Middleman!”
“Oh!” she said. “I loved working on that show and I love you for saying that!”
I noted the troubling past tense in the first love declaration. “Is it…is it coming back?” I asked hopefully.
“We don’t think so,” she said.
I must have looked rather instantly devastated. “I know,” she said, patting my arm comfortingly. “I’m sad, too.”
Apparently, there is hope, but it sounds like the thin, desperate kind of hope that drives some people to spend the rest of their lives writing steamy, slashy series finale fanfic, all in the name of gaining closure on the likes of Wendy Watson and Co.
Loki Groks
Nov 04
It’s a crazy day, so let’s all take a moment to breathe. Why not chill alongside my friend Ellen’s cat, Loki, as he curls up with issue #2 of Grok? Loki really digs this essay by Jeff. Loki is very concerned about all the kitty-friendly geek establishments that have closed down in recent years. Loki feels Jeff’s pain and also wants to know if Jeff has ever tried this thing Loki loves, this thing where you stare at the wall and wait for shadows and light to appear and then stare at it some more? It’s very soothing. Loki thinks you ALL should try it, not just Jeff.
OK. Loki says you can go back to stressing out now. But, Loki reminds you, don’t forget to Grok the Vote!
Grok The Vote: That One Thing
Oct 31When it comes to voting and politics, I think most of us want to be Spock. Logic and reason are our hoped-for guides, our arguments spilling forth in factually-supported constructs of such astonishing correctness that they knock the opposing viewpoint right out of the park…er, starship? Whatever. In reality, of course, emotion — hearts and guts — always worms its way in. We all have that one issue we can’t be cool and measured and rational about. For instance, this morning I spotted a certain bumper sticker supporting a certain California prop on the car in front of me and it made me so blood-boilingly angry that I suddenly had the wild, rageful urge to floor the gas and ram said car repeatedly. Or maybe just steal the assy bumper sticker.
I think the way in which we think about and discuss politics parallels classic Geek Fights in a pretty obvious way. Geeks don’t just like to argue. We like to argue using wordy analyses we have spent an inordinate amount of time constructing, made up of bits of continuity (“X character acted this way in all previous storylines, therefore his/her behavior in this storyline MAKES NO SENSE”), reasoning (“For X character to react this way is possibly consistent with past characterization, but is not in any way, shape, or form a logical way for a human to react and therefore MAKES NO SENSE”), and dental floss (“This is dumb and MAKES NO SENSE”). We might as well be stumping for a presidential candidate.
Vintage Interview: Pre-Firefly Gina Torres
Oct 28I had a total flashback yesterday, courtesy of Entertainment Weekly’s list of the cheesiest (read: awesomest) syndicated TV shows. Who here remembers the Cleopatra 2525/Jack of All Trades power hour, circa 2000?!
Don’t lie. I know at least half of you just started wailing “In the YEEEAAAAR twent-eee five twent-eee five! Three women keep hope aliiiive!” At least!
The whole thing was shitloads of fun. Jack had Bruce Campbell, while Cleo boasted a slightly insane premise (cryogenically frozen exotic dancer gets thawed in 2525, helps fight evil robots), scantily-clad eye candy of both genders, and one of the best credits sequences of all time.
Oh, and also? A pre-Firefly Gina Torres. In 2000, I interviewed Gina for the now-defunct IGN Sci-Fi. And I just dug up said interview via the Wayback Machine. Let’s all enjoy a little moment with the woman who would be Zoe. (In retrospect: pretty interesting what she says about The Matrix and Morpheus, eh?)
