Back In the Summer of ‘89
Jun 23Today’s the 20th anniversary of the release of Tim Burton’s Batman.
To describe this film as “seminal” in my development as a geek, a movie fan, and even a HUMAN BEING is to understate its importance. It also involves using the word “seminal” which just always reminds me too much of the word “semen.” Aside from its reproductive capabilities, I have little use for semen. But then, who does?
I was absolutely fucking OBSESSED with Batman in 1989. Totally out of my goddamned head. I don’t even remember when that obsession began, how it infiltrated my consciousness and took possession of my soul, but I knew that by early June I was rabid for this movie. I was DYING to see it. Even now, every year around June 23, I remember, “Hey, this is when Batman came out.” I probably always will remember.
I finally got my chance to see the flick a few days after opening, when my dad came home from work early one day and took me and my weird friend John to see it at the River Oaks Theaters near my ancestral home in South Holland, IL. It was a monumental event in my life. Well, the movie was the movie; it was the movie as a HAPPENING that I think really rewired my brain.
Under the Radar Week: Jan’s Atomic Heart
Jun 22In honor of all the great comics I’ve been reading lately, I’m launching a goddamned theme week here at Alert Nerd: Under the Radar Week. I’ll be writing about five comics that you might not be reading, and try to explain what I think is so goddamned great about them. Hopefully my compatriots will have some time to chime in as well.
Next week, I’m going to slip off the grid to infiltrate security at the Smithsonian and try to steal Mister Rogers’ sweater. DON’T TELL ANYBODY.
Geeks know the drill; there’s basically two versions of the future. There’s the shiny, bright, clean Star Trek version, and the bleak, desolate, apocalyptic Terminator/Mad Max version.
What’s interesting is the space in between, where tiny extrapolations of technology create fictional worlds that feel just real enough to seem possible…yet remain different and strange. Movies like Blade Runner and Minority Report occupy this space; so does Jan’s Atomic Heart, a new graphic novella by Simon Roy that shifts the landscape of the present in small, meaningful ways in service to a story that’s grounded in human emotions like paranoia, fear, and betrayal.
The Guys’ Guide to Comic-Con 2009
Jun 18Comic-Con. It’s not just for nerdy guys anymore.
That’s right-you dweebs, geeks, and weirdos who only crawl forth from your parents’ basement once a year and face the blinding light of a southern California afternoon just for the opportunity to paw Master of Kung-Fu back issues and augment your masturbatory fantasies of Eliza Dushku by sitting a few feet outside the restrictions of the restraining order while she gasses on about how happy she is to be working with Joss Whedon, even as she’s thinking, “Something smells like mildew and underwiped ass,” and she’s smelling YOU-yes, YOU-it’s not just for YOU anymore!
It’s also for scum-sucking Hollywood slime hoping to leverage your shameless enthusiasm for anything that sniffs of “geek” into cheap coverage for their vapid, horrendous projects! And for moronic “writers” who treat stereotypes as gospel in a ham-handed attempt to snort some coke off the bare ass of the zeitgeist! And supposedly, for DA LADYEZ!!! Even ones who aren’t compensating for cripplingly low self-esteem by wearing inappropriately skimpy outfits in a crowded public place!
This summer’s event, taking place July 23-26 in the San Diego Convention Center, could shape up to be a smorgasbord for overweight white guys. We’ve got a pretty good idea of what eager fanboys can expect (aside from one heck of a set of knockers on that chick from True Blood-you know, the one who was in X-Men? I don’t know her name but she has BOOBS).
But wait, there may be more! Read on…
Darkseid Minus New Gods=GENIUS
Jun 17So I posted this over at my relatively new Tumblr site (check it out, won’t you?) but it deserves to be shouted from the highest of mountaintops.
It’s Darkseid Minus New Gods, from Gavok over at the excellent 4thletter! and it is heavy with comic brilliance. Go there now.
Reborn II: Electric Boogaloo
Jun 15Okay, so I’m trying to tweet out my heart about this whole Cap600 thing, and it’s not working so good, so at the risk of being dumb and forcing two blog posts about one topic onto our gentle readership, I’m gonna spew for a minute here, if only to try and get my thoughts down clearly.
