Nerdly Advice
Feb 02“Whatever happened to Nerdly Advice?” someone asked me a few days ago. And it’s not the first time over the past few months that the question’s been asked.
Nerdly Advice is still here every Tuesday, shining its light off the dock and waiting, waiting, waiting for Daisy. Except, much like Gatsby’s one true love, the questions have dried up. Without them, I’m forced to do more Batman answers Ann Landers posts, and nobody wants that, especially that one guy who got really offended because I bit his decades-old username (and it was completely on purpose).
What I’m saying is, lay those questions on us. We know you’ve got them. Hit us up in the comments, or email us at nerdlyadvice@gmail.com.
Jeff Pitches Ten Horrible Marvel Comics Ideas
Jan 281. A Ronin ongoing series. Will it star Maya Lopez? Will it star Clint Barton? Will it star a new Ronin, possibly Kate Bishop?
Yes.
Like the Uni-Power or the 100 Bullets briefcase, a different superhero ends up with the Ronin costume in each issue or arc. El Aguila. Killraven. Red Hulk. Deadpool. All of them could be Ronin. And then they ninja fight for 20 pages. And of course, no matter the gender or dimensions of the person in the suit, they always look like a really buff guy.
Why? Is it because the Ronin costume is…magic?
2. Beast and Thing move into an apartment together. I don’t think I need to elaborate on this beyond playing the “Odd Couple” theme and smiling maniacally.
3. Really, aren’t all those Spider-Man villains just furries when you get right down to it? And also Frog-Man. This would, of course, be a MAX series.
4. What if Weapon X made a clone using DNA from Wolverine and Deadpool?
5. Did you know that Jean Grey has been alive this whole time? She’s just been chilling in Rhode Island, running her own indie bookstore and having a flirty, will-they-or-won’t-they thing with the rugged-yet-vulnerable guy who owns the hardware store next door.
6. When he deigns to notice that his accursed foes The Avengers have a team of Young Avengers, Doom creates DOOM YOUTH in Latveria. But what does this have to do with the return of…KRISTOFF?!
7. Ken Hale, High School Math Teacher.
8. Marvel Bromance – Steve Rogers and Tony Stark take a cross country road trip in Captain America’s old van. Back-up feature – Spider-Man and Wolverine try to pick up girls and fail miserably.
9. Planet Red Hulk. World War Red Hulk. Red Skaar, Son of Red Hulk. See also: Blue Hulk, Yellow Hulk, Orange Hulk, Indigo Hulk, Violet Hulk, Hulk Corps, Hulkest Night.
10. Secret Wars III – Someone Exposes The Beyonder To Internet Culture. “Spider-Man, I must have Taco Tuesday – TODAY! For I AM FROM BEYOND!”
Dear Sony: Alert Nerd Pitches Five Villains Lamer Than The Vulture
Jan 12At the heart of the alleged kerfuffle between Sam Raimi and Sony Pictures, the one that resulted yesterday in Raimi and the cast of the film being chucked in favor of a hard Spider-reboot in 2012, is a disagreement over the film’s villain. Raimi was pulling for The Vulture, a classic Spidey baddie. John Malkovich – yes, John Malkovich – was attached to the role; of course, that should be taken with a grain of salt, just like 99% of casting rumors. Hell, I could probably say right here that Anna Kendrick is being considered to play Paper Doll and at least one person is going to run off and tell their friends that Anna Kendrick is going to be Paper Doll in the new Spider-Man film – you know, that one where Michael Cera is Peter Parker and has to fight that girl’s Sinister Six boyfriends or whatever (Scott Pilgrim:Spider-Man IV :: Blue Harvest:Star Wars, right?). Anyway, the Sony suits – allegedly – were all, “Sam, an old guy that flies? Lame,” and then likely demanded a storyline they call ‘Venom Wars’ in which Venom comes back only there are like five of him and so there’s a Mary Jane Venom and a JJJ Venom and a T-Rex Venom, because kids love dinosaurs, and maybe also Venom Uncle Ben (“Uncle Benom?”) could show up and say something like “With great power comes a righteous ass-kicking, Petey!”* Oh, and a romantic subplot involving the Black Cat, who is not a Venom but maybe she is revealed to be at the end in a shocking twist? And Carnage. And Anna Kendrick as Paper Doll.
The Iron Man 2 Trailer
Dec 18We’ve all seen it by now, yes?
If not, peruse below:
Wow, right?
I love Robert Downey Jr.’s Tony Stark. He is not too zany or campy, just a man with unlimited wealth and unlimited potential who is on top of the world and knows it.
Mickey Rourke’s casting aside, I’ve not gotten a big thrill out of Backlash being the villain here (or rather, a villain), and I thought those first stills of him were kind of silly, but I’m a bit more of a believer after seeing Rourke and the whips in action. I could do without the ‘evil science genius vs. good science genius’ plot again, especially since it once again seems to revolve around repulsor technology, but I’m not about to lose sleep over the storytellers establishing a theme.
War Machine made me freak out a bit, I don’t mind telling you. I suspect, reader, that you had a similar reaction.
And Pepper kissing the helmet? Can that be my entry in Sarah’s contest?
Is OGN-Only The Right Move For Earth One?
Dec 07Today, DC Comics announced its new, graphic novel-only ‘Earth One’ imprint, which is set to feature new interpretations of Batman and Superman by top-tier writers and artists. These graphic novels represent the creation of a new shared continuity and, predictably, begin with origin stories for the characters.
There are a couple of different ways to react to this news.
1. This imprint, just like All-Star and all the myriad other non-Vertigo imprints published by Time Warner (man, remember Impact Comics? Or Minx?) is going to mis-start and die on the vine, its full potential unrealized.
2. This is a proactive approach to the impending death of the direct market and a move to ingratiate itself to the Borders/B&N audience over the give me my floppies every Wednesday audience.
3. The Ultimate universe was pretty novel when Marvel tried it a few years ago.
While comparisons to the Ultimate books are certainly there to be drawn and pretty valid, to boot, the Earth One books are not simply Ultimate DC. At least, not from a marketing perspective. They’re a glimpse of the Next Thing – not digital comics (that’s already here for most publishers), but a philosophical change in how comics get delivered to us. Which is to say, at the bookstore, where we buy our Vampire Academy novels volumes of convoluted and intellectual essays on current events as opposed to the comic shop, where we buy our Punisher t-shirts.
For at least a decade and a half, “new readers” have been the Little Redheaded Girl to the industry’s Charlie Brown. It’s tried every way it knows to lure them in en masse, to court them, but none of them stick. Part of that is the medium itself, yes, but more significantly, new adult readers do not want to come in to Batman 690-some issues into it. They don’t want or need to know about Krona and the Guardians and the Fourth World and The Haunted Tank and all of the rest of the ancillary material that stands on Batman’s and Superman’s shoulders.
The Ultimate U was a new reader-friendly experiment that wasn’t position to bring in new readers. Earth One takes the concept to its natural conclusion, making these new stories about these iconic characters acessible physically as well as in terms of their content. Which was, if you will remember, the stated purpose of the now as-good-as-defunct All-Star imprint, which gave us the best Superman story ever and the most divisive Batman of all time. Hopefully, and the attachment of JMS and Geoff Johns gives me hope, DC has learned from Frank Miller’s liberties with All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder.
Now, the question remains, can DC actually market to the bookstore? That was its goal with Minx, and Minx was a commercial failure despite its critical success. I feel like this can be a big success for DC, but it’s not a ‘build it and they will come’ kind of project – it needs to be promoted well in-store.
What do you think about DC’s Earth One gambit? Will you be reading it?
