Nerdly Advice: Number of SWAT References = 1

Nerdly Advice: Number of SWAT References = 1

Mar 09

Nerds have questions, but nerds have to appear authoritative or risk losing their nerdy cred.

That’s why, as a recurring feature on Alert Nerd, Jeff answers these conundrums anonymously. It’s like Anne Landers as written by Wyatt Wingfoot. We call it Nerdly Advice.

Dear Nerdly Advice,

I have a friend who’s in a big romantic rut right now.  He’s your quintessential video game nerd: owns an Xbox 360, PS3, Wii and has them all hooked up to his 46″ flatscreen, plus has a running subscription to a major MMORPG for the last five years or so.  He was single for about five years then in early 2009 he met a girl on MySpace, but he’s not met her yet.  This has been going on for a little over a year at this point and she keeps coming up with excuse after excuse after ridiculous excuse for why they can’t meet in person quite right now.  He lives in central CT and she’s in New York City, so it’s far from a hassle to take a day- or weekend-trip.  The thing is that I don’t think she’s ever going to make good on her promise to meet up.  He’s put so much effort and emotion into this girl and gotten nothing in return except tons of broken promises.  I want him to go out and meet other women, but most of his time is spent either online with the MMORPG or with his video games, not to mention that he’s extraordinarily devoted to making this situation with NYC girl work out.  I’m worried because I see a lot of my past romantic self in him, when I did nothing but read comics at home and wonder why I didn’t have a girlfriend.  It wasn’t until I listened to friends and family that I got out of the house, went back to school part-time and met the girl I’m currently involved with.  I am trying to help him realize that (a) – NYC girl needs to be put on the back burner and (b) – finding a world outside of Bioshock is a step towards finding the special someone he desperately wants to connect with.  I know it’s always harder to hear this from the friend who’s got a girlfriend, but I feel like it’s something he needs to hear.  I don’t know how to tell him any of this without sounding like I’m berating him or trivializing his problems.

Thanks,

—-Exasperated In Connecticut

Teaser Tuesday: Blockbusted

Teaser Tuesday: Blockbusted

Mar 09

Excerpt from “A Hero’s Journey,” Rolling Stone no. 397, June 1983
By Charles Huff

Our Hero stands tall against the forces of evil. In this case, “evil” represents a scene from his next film, one which refuses to achieve the rhythmic perfection for which he has become famous.

“Faster, more intense,” he repeats to his editors, over and over, a filmmaking mantra. Faster, more intense; faster, more intense; faster, more intense, for what seems like hours. If they’ve heard it enough, none of them lets on.

Finally he watches the scene and is satisfied.

“Let’s stop there for today,” he announces in a clear, crisp voice. “Thank you everyone.”

Only he won’t be stopping here today; he will spend the majority of the evening in the studio with this editing machine, watching his work in progress again and again. His wife stops by with dinner, a thirty-minute break to inhale a plain hamburger, fries, and a gigantic coke. Then it’s back to the reels. He takes copious notes with a number two pencil on yellow thin-ruled legal size notepads. There are hundreds of them stacked against the wall of his home office in Manhattan Beach, California.

Even in these nascent days of computer technology, most of the screenwriters I know have already made the transition to word processors. You can hear them comparing their bits and bytes against one another as they procrastinate in the endless coffee shops and diners that dot the LA landscape.

In his movies, Henry Lane frames the relationship between old technology and new technology as a constant battle; in his real life, the war has already been won.

You pride yourself on the cutting-edge technology that brings your stories to life, I ask him one afternoon over cheap beer. Yet you rely on the oldest of mechanisms to record your work. I’ve seen that ancient reel to reel tape recorder you keep by your bed for the ideas they come to you in the night.

“It’s what I’m comfortable with,” he says. “More than anything else, I’m a creature of comforts.”

The blockbuster success of Henry’s first two films has guaranteed that comfort for life. We’re drinking our cheap beer as we sit on the deck of his home, which is both large and beautiful. I stare at the ocean, rolling in, rolling out.

The large and beautiful home sits on a thin strip of sidewalk known as The Strand. Just past that strip is the beautiful California coast, and along the coastline roars the ocean.

“I’ve lived here for five, six years, and I spend a couple hours every day just staring at the water,” Henry admits. “It’s reassuring, like no matter what else happens in your life or your mind, there is always something that will be constantly moving, never stopping, never tired. It’s comforting, I guess, though comforting from what, I’m not sure.”

A pissy reporter in a People magazine feature, annoyed because he repeatedly refused her request for an interview, once described Henry as “an awkward gazelle, long and edgeless, with a hint of frump.” She nailed it, except for the frump, which has somehow evaporated with age, and that’s shocking, because Henry refuses to exercise.

I’ve known Henry for more than a decade, so his nearly implacable calm in the face of enormous tension is something I’ve grown used to. It doesn’t mean it’s any easier to handle, especially when I know he must be sweating right now. At least a little.

I empty the last of my brew. You’re staring down the end of a six-year journey that has made you wealthy and the most successful filmmaker of all time. You’ve changed the entire landscape of filmmaking and impacted our culture for probably decades to come. One more movie, and then it’s all over. What if it…

“What if it sucks?” Henry chuckles. “I don’t know…depending on who you ask, all my movies suck. I’m just trying to stay true to the story and see this through.”

Then what’s next, Henry? Another big movie? Something small and personal?

“A lot of rest,” he replies, grabbing my glass for a refill. “I can be incredibly lazy when I want to be.”

From Blockbusted (title tenative), due 2010 from Alert Nerd Press

Straczynski to Helm Superman, Wonder Woman

Straczynski to Helm Superman, Wonder Woman

Mar 08

So, that’s going to start off pretty interesting and then drop off with a whimper after being plagued by delays, isn’t it?

There’s an interview with JMS on Newsarama that is pretty illuminating in regard to his take on the characters.  Surprise, surprise, he says that his goal with Diana is to pare her down to her core and get rid of the “layers of debris” around her.  Not only is this something that every new writer to come aboard Wonder Woman says that his or her goal is, it’s a goal that has never been strictly necessary.  On the other hand, he talks with a clear simplicity about Superman, a character that does have tons of baggage attached to him.

Look at it this way: If I were going to write a Fraption (you know, those caption bubble things that Matt Fraction uses in his Uncanny X-Men run where you get important facts about the character), I think that if you were going to simply skip over cleverness like “Wonder Woman: Is Wonder Woman” or “Superman: Is Superman” (both of which strike me as valid, honestly, just like Batman’s caption box would just read “BATMAN.”) then you could probably get away with “Amazon Princess. Kicks ass.” a lot better than “Last Son of Krypton. Mild-mannered reporter. Farmboy. Has awesome wife. Does basically everything. Except magic. And kryptonite.”  Or maybe I’m expressing a bias here.

I was trying to defend Superman to my girlfriend not too long ago.  She doesn’t like him because he’s too perfect. I did my standard thing about how Superman’s limits are only the limits he imposes on himself and that it’s those limits that define him more than his powers and that’s kind of beautiful yadda yadda yadda and I realized something – I don’t think I honestly care that much about Superman.  It’s a small sentence, but it felt like this big watershed thing for me.  Why I didn’t, I wasn’t sure, but I figured it out while I was reading that JMS interview.  I looked at the stuff that he was saying about Superman and realized that it’s the exact opposite of what I’ve always felt (that it’s more about the possession of his ridiculous power and not the judicious use of it) and I think I figured out that the funny thing about letting superheroes become your mythology is that you still end up with several incompatible theories of god butting heads against one another.  As much as I respect Straczynski, I don’t think I buy into his, just like I – a straight, male longtime comics reader who has read Wonder Woman on and off since the post-Crisis Perez reboot don’t really care for the way that the author kind of ghettoizes Diana as being just for girls, or even worse, the girl version of Superman when she is, in fact, completely different.

I like JMS a good deal a lot of the time, however; between Rising Stars, a majority of his Amazing Spider-Man and his relaunch of Thor, he has my reader good will.  I’m committed to giving Straczynski a chance with both of these books, but I’m keeping my optimism in check.  How about you?

The Bin–3/5/10

The Bin–3/5/10

Mar 05

Back in the day, we used to just like stuff every week. We still like stuff, but now we mix in links, videos and other random claptrap. We call it the Bin, and it will steal your heart away.

Lost 6.5, “Sundown”

Lost 6.5, “Sundown”

Mar 04

I try not to read much of what other writers have to say about a show I’m reviewing until after I’ve written my own review. But my friend Dan Carlson posted a link to his write-up of the season six Lost ep “Sundown” for Pajiba and his post title was too spot-on to miss:

“In Every Possible World, Sayid Is A Killer”

Just about says it all, doesn’t it?