Lost 6.13 "The Last Recruit"
Apr 22Last time on LOST:
Nothing heals a broken heart like a bucket of chicken.
Hubby* picnic, make out, don’t get shot.
Michael is a terrible human being.
Desmond continues the long history of cast members committing car-related crimes.
Never play with dynamite.
Throw the Scotsman down the well, so the smoke monster can be free.
There was a point in time where I thought that James “Sawyer” Ford had really gotten his act together. And so it saddens me to learn that he can’t even run a con correctly anymore, can’t even anticipate a double-cross. I mean, we’ve already established that Charles Widmore is completely untrustworthy and that Jungle Strike Tina Fey is completely inept and even still they manage to pull one over on Sawyer. Did he swap bodies with Jack or something?
I love Sawyer, in a purely platonic Viking way, and I have spent most of this season waiting patiently, watching him play along with Flocke and Widmore and roll out some amazing long con that takes everybody by surprise. Because that’s what Sawyer does. Right?
To recap, this is the master plan of the professional con man:
- Convince the ageless, murderous smoke monster who knows everything about everything to walk into a trap.
- Convince Charles Widmore, who used to be the leader of the Others and who therefore knows most of the shit that’s going on the magical Bible wine bottle electromagnetic mystery island, to try to ambush the aforementioned ageless murder monster (because I cannot stress that shit enough).
- Grab (some of) your friends and ignore that the rest of them might be watching you escape.
- Sneak away in the least subtle way possible, barring Hurley playing the fucking tuba while everyone makes a run for it.
- Steal a boat.
- Take the boat to another island.
- Steal a submarine.
- Learn to pilot a submarine.
- Freedom.
Now, to be fair, things aren’t as bleak as they may seem. JSTF probably forgot to put bullets in her guns, first of all, and Desmond is probably going to come crashing out of the jungle with a machete and a Segway, cutting down Widmore’s goons and shouting “JUMP ON, BROTHER!” I don’t anticipate that our castaways are in any danger. And who knows? We may eventually find out that this was all Sawyer’s plan all along. “Well, Liz Lemon, I knew you had surveillance on our camp, so I pretended that I was good ol’ Barbecue Pit’s lapdog so that you’d try to double cross us when we defected. In fact, Mean Girls, I was counting on it.”
Meanwhile, let’s talk about Jack.
It is refreshing to finally see Jack embrace his insanity, represented by his new, “I could give two shits about my own well-being attitude” this season. He’s gone from control freak to a man who leads from the front with no regard for his own safety. He’s eaten poison, attempted to blow himself up, jumped off of a sailboat, trusted Sawyer’s ludicrous plan, et cetera. Oh, and nearly gotten hit by a missle. He is living on the edge and there is a certain, seat-of-the-pants charm to Edge Jack – he’s that crazy friend that just smiles and shrugs when you ask him what the plan is tonight.
Stuff is also happening in LA in the mirrorverse and all lines converge at St. Sebastian hospital, universes hinging on the fate of John Locke’s dural sac and shattered spine. Ilana is a lawyer! Of course she is! Sun sees Locke and flips out! Sawyer takes down Sayid! Kate displays guile, if not actual intelligence! Stuff is happening. It feels more and more to me like this timeline is some kind of monkey’s paw bullshit from the smoke monster. Sayid wants Nadia alive. She’s alive – but not in the way that he expected! And so on.
After a week of downtime, LOST is going to rocket into its final few hours and it’s still anybody’s guess how it’s going to shake out. And there’s still plenty of stuff left on the Mystery Board that hasn’t been crossed off. Next week, Matt and I will hit you with some general thoughts on the season so far and the show as a whole. For now, though, hit me with your theories and accusations in the comments.
*Hurley + Libby. Keep up.
Alert Nerd Press Spotlight: Ken Simon
Apr 20
Ken Simon’s “The Tygress Theory” was the very first submission we received for our very first issue of Grok back in 2008. The piece, inspired by our “Pon Farr” theme, charted Ken’s adventures in online dating (back before online dating was, like, A Thing), and his earnest attempts to forge connections that weren’t always meant to be. It was funny and thoughtful and self-deprecating without being self-flagellating — and it really set the tone for what Grok would become.
In Grok #2, Ken wrote about his longtime fascination with connectivity, from rotary phones to “party lines” (remember those, fellow old people?) to screechy modems dialing faceless strangers. I loved his willingness to reveal the depth of his obsession when it comes to this stuff, and the ways in which it connects back to the person he is today.
We’re hoping we can convince Ken — who maintains a mild-mannered librarian/superhero identity during the daylight hours — to contribute to future issues of Grok. In the meantime, we’ve conducted a little interview with him. Read on, then check out his excellent words in “The Tygress Theory” (page 20) and “Connected: The Secret Origins of Ordinary” (page 10).
Lost 6.12, "Everybody Loves Hugo"
Apr 19
Seriously, everybody does.
While the takeaway from this week’s episode was clearly meant to be its final few minutes (otherwise why put it there?), the entire hour showcased a great character, a really underrated actor, and more touchy-feely for Lost’s final season.
More after the jump, for those who DON’T WANNA BE SPOILED (OR ARE ALREADY SPOILED)…
The Bin – 4/16/10
Apr 16
Once, in ages past, four nerds banded together and vanquished the forces of darkness that lurched in squamous form across the countryside and skulked necrolently through the catacombs beneath our cities. When the threat had passed and the land was safe, they took Stuff They Liked, a bunch of Links and a Miscellany of other treasures and had them sealed away in…The Bin.
Legend foretold that the riches contained within would spill forth once again in a time of great need. A time…like today.
Nerdly Advice: Lightning Round
Apr 13Most of the time, nerds force advice onto anybody they make eye contact with. You can tell it’s coming if you hear words like “Actually.” But sometimes nerds need advice and have nowhere to turn without damaging what they believe to be their credibility as wise sages.
Nerdly Advice is a safe and anonymous haven where you can ask your nerd questions and get nerd answers full of Jeff’s delightful misanthropy. This week, we tackle several different Important Questions. Have a question of your own? Email us at nerdlyadvice (at) gmail (dot) com.
Jeff, should I buy an iPad?!
I like the idea of the iPad a lot. I’m a believer in lightweight, intuitive-interface tablet devices making a lot of changes in the way we do a lot of things (I worked in the health care industry for awhile, where I think the iPad can do huge things in terms of revolutionizing the way patient data is charted and analyzed). Some pundits can complain about the iPad murdering innovation, but what it’s really going to do is get a bunch of people in the industry off their asses and working to make a better, more user-friendly tablet while Apple will keep refining its hardware until it gets it right. I don’t believe it’s had the perfect iPod until the recent iteration of the Nano, and it cribs a lot of features from the Zune, whose newest version is basically a matter of preference over the iPod Touch – long strides from a competitor whose first offering was a joke.
The iPad has flaws. It will get better. Or a competitor will fill those gaps with a superior product. Get that. Unless you have a giant pile of money. Then you should buy two and send one to me.
What am I going to do after LOST is over?
You might want to consider falling in love or adopting a pet. Maybe starting a book club or designing a board game.
