Dear Joss,

Dear Joss,

Sep 12

Hi. How are you? I’m fine, thanks.

You probably remember me. I was the guy who pleaded with you to shave your wanky beard. Eventually, you did indeed shave it, so I can only assume that you read my column, spent some emotional time with your personal groomer, and took my advice.

I’ve got some more advice for ya, Mr. Whedon: Don’t write Runaways.

Full disclosure: I’ve only read the first collection of Runaways material. But I liked it. A lot. I plan to read the rest.

It’s good stuff, and Joss, you make good stuff too. I have little doubt that your Runaways would be good stuff, like all your other good stuff.

But come on. Buffy was “adolescence as a horror movie.” Runaways is “adolescence as a superhero team book.” I’m oversimplifying, but you get my point.

This project is right in your wheelhouse…TOO much in your wheelhouse. (By the way, where is your wheelhouse? And may I visit? I will bring chips.)

For your next Marvel project, let’s see you push those boundaries you are so famous for shattering. Hit us up with the Whedon take on Brother Voodoo. Stomp in with your Hollywood clout and wrestle control of a flagship Marvel title and give it all your magically delicious magical magic. Whedon’s Fantastic Four? Whedon’s New Avengers? Whedon’s Ultimate Spider-Man?

I just don’t want to see you repeat yourself. At all. Maybe that’s the point–maybe you need a creative break from all the big-time movie biz heavy lifting, and so you’re looking for something that’s comfortable for you, so that you can just go have your comic book fun after a long hard day of making Jessica Alba seem convincing as she battles Faye Dunaway as Cheetah.

I just want what’s best for you, Joss. And for me. But mostly for you.

Love,
Matt

P.S. Don’t you DARE grow back that beard.