Hong Kong swag – Shaolin Kubricks
Jan 04A friend recently went to Hong Kong to visit family and returned with presents. Mine was this awesome set of knock-off Kubricks (same style, different plastic, with molding seams showing) – a box of four Shaolin monks, complete with arsenal. Swords and spears are cool, but it’s tough to beat the oversized monk beads and bench, for whichever one practices drunken kung-fu.
Interview Atomic Robo
Jan 03I’m working with the team over at HeavyInk.com, a rad new online comics retailer (more on that when the time is right), and am doing an interview with the creative team of Atomic Robo, which features questions submitted by fans.
So get on over to the HeavyInk boards and submit some questions!
Indiana Jones and the Whiny, Bitchy Billionaire
Jan 03I wasn’t gonna even link this, and I don’t have the energy or interest at this point to muster a robust and blustery “fuck you, Lucas” diatribe. (In fact, maybe I’ll make that a New Year’s resolution–no bitching about George Lucas.)
But, well, here: Vanity Fair has their cover story on Indy 4 up, and sure enough, Lucas finds time to complain about his “fans” yet again:
“The fans are all upset,†Lucas says. “They’re always going to be upset. ‘Why did he do it like this? And why didn’t he do it like this?’ They write their own movie, and then, if you don’t do their movie, they get upset about it. So you just have to stand by for the bricks and the custard pies, because they’re going to come flying your way.â€
Listen, Georgie boy, lemme illuminate your brain pan on this: The fans are upset because you’ve spent billions of dollars to make two shitty movies and one not-quite-as-shitty movie over the past eight years. No one has any reason to suspect that this will be anything but an awful attempt to recapture the glory days of your maverick filmmaking youth. At this point, the mere mention of your name makes me cranky, and I’m sure I’m not the only person who feels that way.
So instead of bitching to Vanity Fair, why not go back and rewatch The Phantom Menace, and see if you don’t have a better idea why “the fans are upset.”
We’re upset because you SUCK, Lucas. You totally suck.
(and I already broke my New Year’s resolution, goddamnit)
To Whom It May Concern: Rock Band at the Super Bowl
Jan 02I don’t know how many of you have had a chance to become acquainted with Rock Band yet. It is a revelation compared to Guitar Hero, and I say that as someone who sat down and made a wish list for a Guitar Hero Great White North edition (all Canadian rock, eh?)
Besides being the ultimate rock fantasy short of going to… well… rock fantasy camp, the game takes the rhythm and appreciation for music taught by the earlier guitar games, and adds singing (it’s often been commented that the Karaoke Revolution games, by the same developer, basically train you, through visual feedback, to sing on key – not to mention learn words and phrasing) and best yet, drums. The best part about the drums is that it’s pretty clear, pretty quick, that if you swapped out the drum pads with real drums in a similar configuration, you’d be playing the drums. Not expert, no no no. But you’d be playing.
The guitars don’t teach you chords or fingering, but the drums do teach you to bang the skins.
I consider myself a decent drummer at the medium level, and the game isn’t mine, so I can only assume that with my own copy and time to obsess alone, I could improve – but even at that level, I felt pretty confident that I was at least ahead by a few months worth of drum lessons.
Now, please observe the following. Feel free to bang yo head. Well, it’s Rush. So, feel free to bop in a progressive manner.
Ok. This got me to thinking, as has happened a lot lately, about whether Rock Band is a Guitar Hero killer. And this video got me thinking that there is one way, in two steps, that Rock Band could completely dominate and crush Guitar Hero.
First, produce enough kits to meet a massive demand. The three you sent to my local Futureshop isn’t going to cut it.
Second, take the Rock Band maniac in this video (or similar) and have his play with Rush. Could be part of their tour. Could be part of the Super Bowl Half Time show. Could be part of the Super Bowl Half Time show in order to help promote the Rush tour. It could be late night TV (lord knows they’ll be leaning on music acts while the writers strike continues.)
And slot that fucker in. It will not be great drumming – in fact, bump him down to hard, maybe even medium, so that the drumming is less insane-o video game drumming, and more like real drumming. But five minutes later, you will have sold everyone watching on the fantasy of being in a band.
Hell, make Geddy Lee sing in-game. You know he can hit those notes. I sure can’t.
Double hell, make it a contest. Winner by Xbox world rankings gets to play with Geddy Lee and Rush.
Just don’t do it until I get my kit.
We Dig Ben
Jan 02So I’m not even sure if I’m allowed to post this, but hell with it, Ben Sian can hunt me down like cattle if it’s wrong…
Ben is a man who I have come to know through the tubes and pixie dust that is the Internet. He has written for IGN and for the site that first brought me, Sarah, and Chris together, Entertainment Geekly.
For years, he’s been doing this bit where he gets B-list to Z-list celebs to hold up a sign that says “I Dig Ben” while he takes a photo.
Now he’s organized this archive of true arcane geekdom for all to enjoy. It is an unassailable tour through the darkest corners of fame, with a guy who looks damn good in an Elvis jumpsuit as your guide.
