{"id":823,"date":"2008-02-06T08:21:55","date_gmt":"2008-02-06T15:21:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alertnerd.com\/blog\/?p=823"},"modified":"2008-02-06T08:21:55","modified_gmt":"2008-02-06T15:21:55","slug":"alert-nerd-exclusive-ultimates-3-1-gets-shitty-xerox-variant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/?p=823","title":{"rendered":"ALERT NERD EXCLUSIVE: ULTIMATES 3 #1 GETS SHITTY XEROX VARIANT"},"content":{"rendered":"

Press Release<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the ultimate comic book event of the year and now Ultimates 3 is back like you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never seen it before! In Ultimates 3 #1 Shitty Xerox Variant, the sold-out smash hit from Eisner award-winning scribe Jeph Loeb and superstar artist Joe Madureira returns as a poorly-copied version of the original! Generated on a twenty-year-old copier from the local public library that leaks toner, this special variant edition also features the same dialogue and jaw-dropping plot that forever changed the Ultimate Universe! This issue also features Madureira\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s now classic wraparound covers replaced by xeroxes of my ass, depicting the Ultimate Universe heroes heading towards a climactic battle with their enemies, the Brotherhood!<\/p>\n

“What a wonderful gift for the fans of the book,” says Loeb. “Joe’s artwork looks great in color, but to see a poorly copied naked ass wrapped around a shitty xerox copy of this already piss-poor comic is a mindblowing!<\/p>\n

“No, that’s not a typo,” continues Loeb. “A mindblowing is when your mind gets some choice blowjobbery, preferably from a spicy prostitute picked up just over the Mexican border. I have a few phone numbers if you’re interested.”<\/p>\n

As the March On Ultimatum continues, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t miss your chance to experience one of the year\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s most controversial comics of the year!<\/p>\n

That’s not a typo either! This comic is one of the year’s most controversial comics of the year, this year, not next year, and in 2008 as well!<\/p>\n

Just why has one of the Ultimates\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 most powerful members been targeted for death? And who\u00e2\u20ac\u201dor what\u00e2\u20ac\u201dis the object of Venom\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s quest? AND WHO GIVES A SHIT???<\/p>\n

It all begins in Ultimates 3 #1\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never seen it brought to life like this before!<\/p>\n

ULTIMATES 3 #1 (of 5) SHITTY XEROX VARIANT GATEFOLD PHOTOCOPIED ASS COVERS (DEC078168)
\nWritten by JEPH LOEB
\nPencils by JOE MADUREIRA
\nGatefold Ass would make a great band name
\nParental Advisory \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6$2.99
\nFOC\u00e2\u20ac\u201d2\/21\/08, On-Sale\u00e2\u20ac\u201d3\/12\/08<\/p>\n

Related: ULTIMATES 3 #1 GETS BLACK AND WHITE VARIANT – NEWSARAMA<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Press Release It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the ultimate comic book event of the year and now Ultimates 3 is back like you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve never seen it before! In Ultimates 3 #1 Shitty Xerox Variant, the sold-out smash hit from Eisner award-winning scribe Jeph Loeb and superstar artist Joe Madureira returns as a poorly-copied version of the original! Generated on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-823","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/823","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=823"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/823\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=823"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=823"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=823"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}