{"id":570,"date":"2007-07-18T07:53:09","date_gmt":"2007-07-18T14:53:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alertnerd.com\/blog\/?p=570"},"modified":"2007-07-18T07:53:09","modified_gmt":"2007-07-18T14:53:09","slug":"indy-arrives-or-george-cut-down-on-the-cheetos","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/?p=570","title":{"rendered":"Indy "Arrives" (Or: George, Cut Down on the Cheetos)"},"content":{"rendered":"

As I continue to chronicle the pathetic attempt on the parts of three of our preeminent film juggernauts to recapture the vanished glory days of their youth, I submit the latest installment in my “How in the name of fucking GOD can Indiana Jones 4 actually be any good?” campaign:<\/p>\n

Indiana Jones: Community | Video: Indy Arrives<\/a><\/p>\n

Shot by Spielberg himself, it depicts three self-satisfied, fat and sad old men sitting around in the desert while a multi-million dollar film project takes place around them, a project pinned on the impossible possibility that maybe George Lucas (whose prequels mostly sucked), Harrison Ford (whose movies since…well, since FOREVER have mostly sucked), and Steven Spielberg (whose movies have…okay, they’ve been mostly good to great) can make lightning strike a fourth time.<\/p>\n

Mark my words, genre fans: It vehemently AIN’T HAPPENIN’. If it does, I will literally eat Indy’s hat.<\/p>\n

Seriously. If I see this movie–which I will–and it is good–which is impossible–then I will eat a fedora.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I continue to chronicle the pathetic attempt on the parts of three of our preeminent film juggernauts to recapture the vanished glory days of their youth, I submit the latest installment in my “How in the name of fucking GOD can Indiana Jones 4 actually be any good?” campaign: Indiana Jones: Community | Video: […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-570","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movies"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/570","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=570"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/570\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=570"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=570"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=570"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}