{"id":3209,"date":"2010-03-24T14:39:41","date_gmt":"2010-03-24T21:39:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/?p=3209"},"modified":"2010-03-24T14:39:41","modified_gmt":"2010-03-24T21:39:41","slug":"alert-nerd-press-spotlight-do-you-want-to-grok-my-avatar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/?p=3209","title":{"rendered":"Alert Nerd Press Spotlight: Do You Want to Grok My Avatar?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

In college, I made my own ‘zine. It was called FanGirl<\/em>. It had a purple cover, a stapled spine, and multiple unfortunate font choices. I still have many, many fond remembrances of parading down College and Telegraph Aves in Berkeley, dropping issues off at Cody’s and Pendragon, hoping someone might be drawn in by the cute cartoon astronaut girl on the cover.<\/p>\n

All of us at Alert Nerd have “I made this!” memories like that (ask Matt about his Clara Peller ‘zine sometime, won’t you?) and I think that’s one of the big reasons we started Grok<\/em>, our little PDF ‘zine that houses essays, fiction, and general silliness centered around nerd culture. And Grok<\/em> led to Alert Nerd Press<\/a>, which has now published multiple book<\/a>–like<\/a> things<\/a>. We’ve got some pretty dang crazy plans for ANP this year, so I thought it might be fun to keep you up-to-date via a monthly column that spotlights various aspects of stuff we’re working on: upcoming releases, Grok<\/em> contributors, random incriminating pictures of Chris and his proton pack collection. It will be an absolute delight, I’m sure.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

At the moment, we’re cranking through Grok<\/em> #6, which features the theme “avatar.” Now. Please note that this is avatar, the thing, and not Avatar<\/em>, the movie. In hindsight, perhaps it would’ve been smart of us NOT to pick a theme that conjures images of gigantic blue dragon-bonking monsters from Endor. But whatever. We’re going with it<\/em>.<\/p>\n

My piece in Grok<\/em> #6 is another short story set in the One Con Glory<\/em> universe<\/a>. I honestly thought these characters were kind of done (they got their own book, after all — what more do they want?!), but then I revisited them in our last issue<\/a> and decided maybe they had a few more adventures in ’em after all. Here’s a work-in-progress excerpt of the story you’ll see in Grok<\/em> #6, due out in May. One of my goals here is to give a bit of screen time to a supporting player who didn’t have much to do in Glory<\/em> — but a lot of folks have told me they love her and want to see MORE. (Hopefully, they weren’t lying in an “Oh, but Jar-Jar is so underrated<\/em>” kind of way.)<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t had sex in three days.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I stare blankly at the disheveled source of these words — flannel shirt misbuttoned over coffee-stained tank, hair pulled into ratty bun\/ponytail hybrid, face screwed into a mask of from-the-gut distress.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s before noon on Saturday, Layla,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I finally say. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153My comprehension skills aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fully functional and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not very good at rousing girlfriend pep talks in general, so why don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you come in and we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll take this from the top?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I open my apartment door a little wider and she sweeps in, all long limbs and balletic grace, her off-kilter elegance somehow enhanced by her messy appearance. Then she whirls around, hands shooting out to lock my shoulders in a death grip. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You<\/em>,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she breathes, eyes narrowing suspiciously. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153You<\/em> had sex recently.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Her head twists as she wildly scans the room, evoking unpleasant Exorcist<\/em>-type imagery. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Is Jack here?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153First of all: ow,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I say, batting ineffectually at her claw-like fingers. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Your Hulk-on-fucking-steroids strength never ceases to amaze me. Second of all: yes. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s sleeping.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I incline my head towards the bedroom. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Third of all\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6third of all?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I frown. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t sound right. Anyway, third of all: are you making it your own bizarre mission to perceive when people last copulated? Like some kind of\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6sexdar?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I call it my \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcsex sense,\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she says sagely.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Well, whatever it is, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s broken: he got here at 3 this morning after back-to-back 17-hour shooting days and passed right out. And I think I like \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcsexdar\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 better.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Auuuuugggggggh.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d With that anguished cry, Layla pirouettes herself into my rickety papasan and slumps over in defeat, deflating like a week-old balloon. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What the frak is wrong with me?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I settle myself into the apartment\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s only other piece of seating — a sad little desk chair — and look at her quizzically. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Ya know, three days isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t that long for most people,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I say. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Mitch really busy at work right now? Also, um\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6did the queen of pop cultural ignorance just correctly use \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcfrak\u00e2\u20ac\u2122?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I think I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve managed to absorb a fair amount of Bubblestar Galactica<\/em> terminology from you guys,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she says distractedly. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And yes,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she adds before I can open my mouth. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I know I just got the name wrong.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Her eyes narrow, focusing on a haphazard pile of clothes on the floor. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As for being busy at work\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not why,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she mutters, her voice morphing into a low growl. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As a newly-cohabitating couple, it should be happening once a day at the bare minimum. Preferably in as many creative locations as we can manage.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Alright, alright.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I hold up my hands in surrender. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Please. Say no more. There are tons of awesome things about your two best friends being a disgustingly happy couple, but hearing about their supposed-to-be prodigious sex life is not one of them.”<\/p>\n

Her head flops forward and she heaves a mighty sigh, glaring murderously at the pile of defenseless clothes.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Um. You seem\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6well, really not so much like you right now,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I say hesitantly. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153And nothing against embracing your inner Angelus, but you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re pretty much the least dark and broody person I know, so\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6is there something else going on? Besides the lack of sex?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

She tilts her head to the side, a slight smile playing across her lips. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That was actually a really good<\/em> girlfriend pep talk, Julie,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d she says, a ghost of her usual carefree cheerleader persona coming through.<\/p>\n

More coming in May! See you then.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In college, I made my own ‘zine. It was called FanGirl. It had a purple cover, a stapled spine, and multiple unfortunate font choices. I still have many, many fond remembrances of parading down College and Telegraph Aves in Berkeley, dropping issues off at Cody’s and Pendragon, hoping someone might be drawn in by the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[180,69],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-alert-nerd-press","category-fandom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3209","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3209"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3209\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3209"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3209"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3209"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}