{"id":2568,"date":"2009-09-09T10:59:23","date_gmt":"2009-09-09T17:59:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/?p=2568"},"modified":"2009-09-09T10:59:23","modified_gmt":"2009-09-09T17:59:23","slug":"a-letter-from-superman","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/?p=2568","title":{"rendered":"A Letter From Superman"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear DC Comics “friends,”<\/p>\n

What the fuck?<\/p>\n

No, seriously, what the fuck? W. T. F?!<\/p>\n

You guys change up the whole show over there and I don’t even get a phone call, an e-mail, a tweet? A little early warning? Shit, I gave DiDio that stupid goddamned signal watch. USE IT.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I’m not sure you give a shit what I think at this point, but on the off chance you do, here’s the gist:<\/p>\n

I KNOW WHO I AM.<\/p>\n

I’m goddamned Superman. My pal Bruce, he’s the goddamned Batman. Diana? WONDER WOMAN.<\/p>\n

We know who we are. I hope you do too. I’m not some bright-ass icon that needs to be “darker” so that Spike Jonze can run my life through a blender and make a cross between Starman<\/em> and Crank<\/em>. I’m not the underpants you shove on your toddlers when they’re done with the diapers, and I’m not even the comic book bullshit that comes out on a monthly, or bi-monthly, or whenever-the-fuck-you-feel-like-it basis.<\/p>\n

I’m goddamned Superman. Like I said. People come along every so often and try to fuck around with me, but I endure. I’m death and taxes; I’m Jesus with a cape. I’m not going anywhere, so give it your best shot, if you want. Hip me up; cram me into animated mobile webisodes with optional ringtone bonus and make me swear because Joel Silver thinks it’s cool. I don’t give a shit. I’ll still be here; you might not be, but I will.<\/p>\n

And I don’t even know if you’re gonna fuck everything up; for all I know, you’re going to get off your asses and finally put comic books on the damned COMPUTER like every other free-thinking non-caveman creature on the planet. And maybe you’ll hire some decent people to do decent things with our movies for a change. Maybe I won’t feel like I’m flying around working for the goddamned publishing version of the Edsel corporation anymore. I hope you rock it out, but if you fall flat on your human faces, it don’t matter.<\/p>\n

One more time, cause I kinda like saying it: I’m goddamned Superman.<\/p>\n

I hope we’re clear on that.<\/p>\n

Up up and whatever,
\nClark<\/p>\n

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Dear DC Comics “friends,” What the fuck? No, seriously, what the fuck? W. T. F?! You guys change up the whole show over there and I don’t even get a phone call, an e-mail, a tweet? A little early warning? Shit, I gave DiDio that stupid goddamned signal watch. USE IT. Anyway, I’m not sure […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2568","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comics"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2568","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2568"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2568\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2568"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2568"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.alertnerd.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2568"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}